>A Half-Hour in New-Age Pseudo-Christian Happiness

>A half-hour because that is all I could take.

Upon entering a hall full of Benetton ads come to life sitting in the chairs, 4 people in business casual sang some rousing song that I’m surprised The Polyphonic Spree hasn’t done yet.

The Benettons clap along wide-eyed, and few of them claim to get the spirit. My fellow undercover agent said that the sincerity of everyone clapping must be taken with a grain of salt, as this is a popular place of worship for actors (in Chelsea? Chorus Boys! Both young and old.)

A woman then gets onstage and relates some long-winded spiel about membership and commitment (somehow involving her leaving her marriage), which is the sign for all new members to embrass themselves publicly, and for everyone else to turn to everyone nearby and say “welcome.”

I did not stand up, nor did my undercover agent. It’s better not to get close to people who so eagerly fake sincerity.

The Polyphonic 4 get onstage again and sing some daft ditty that gets more people stirred, or at least wanting to appear that they are stirred. It’s The PTL in the middle of Chelsea.

The Polyphonic 4 then lead the congregation in a “Meditation” as the lights go down.

It got all too Saint Germain (the kooky mystical religion that took over my father after he went crazy in the early 1990s) for me, so the two of us promptly left to go get drunk and have a cigarette.



  1. Anonymous · July 9, 2007

    >what a weird experience. personally, i’d never have given the place a chance in the first place (regardless of whether christian, hindu, zoroastrian or new age). so, welcome back to hell with the rest of us.

  2. dondon009 · July 21, 2007

    >HAHAHA…. WHY did I know this would be the outcome!From the sounds of it, I’m sure I would have gladly joined you for those drinks and more than one cigarette~I go to church for weddings and funerals only! That is more than enough….. but I’m afraid access to large quantities of alcohol afterwards is the great motivator

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