>The Hikaruland Eurovision 2008 Preview Reviews: Day 2

>Eurovision.tv is getting high-tech, so here is the player:

Eurovision Song Contest – Belgrade 2008 Preview Player

And now onto D-H

  • Denmark: More vintage. Simon seems to think that he is George Michael circa Faith. He gets a shave, smiles at a pretty girl, and then becomes a policeman singing in front of 40s-50s era cars. I’ve been to Copenhagen at night, it’s a little more lively than Mr. Matthew’s video suggests.
  • Estonia: Eurolaul performance (I think). A bunch of bikini-clad women swing Estonian flags while three overweight men “sing” and bounce to the beat of a song which seems to be Serbian, but could very well be a combination of that and drunken Estonian. (One would have to be half in the bag to make those two sound alike.) Bikini woman holds up a sign of a cake or a pie. I should also mention that the Baltic Bears are dressed in the Estonian national colours, which is making some very bizarre national statement or just aiming for comedy of the bizarre (and failing, albeit not horrendously so).
  • Finland: Euroviisut performance: I’ve seen the actual video and it’s got more oomph than its Eurosong counterpart. First disclaimer: I actually like this song, it’s campy without the daftness of Lordi. Second disclaimer: The lads aren’t that bad looking to the eyes (in that funfair-operator-who-you’d-do-when-you’re-drunk-on-cheap-beer way).  They had better keep this in Finnish, because it would lose its “what exactly are they screaming about” appeal.
  • France: Inspired by Xanadu or any of the assorted musicals from the late 1970s-early 1980s which tried to bring New Wave to the masses? Man plays organ while 2 pale white feminine beings (gender ambiguous on my screen) “sing” “bop-bop-doo-wop.” M. Tellier turns around and for a second I think “Frank Zappa isn’t really dead. He’s just gone into hiding as a Frenchman.” And then it gets trippy: microphones being tossed as Francois Zappa goes from soundstage to street to beach to car. By the way, M. Tellier and/or the director pays attention to detail when it comes to film stock, which really makes this video look as if it was some recently rediscovered New Wave song from 1980. Brilliant. 
  • (FYR) Macedonia: National final performance, because they are singing in Macedonian (although it will be in garbled English in Belgrade). More Macedonian reggaeton, which, let’s be honest here has gotten them for better (2006) or worse (2005) to the final. Of course, this year they can’t totally rely on friendly votes due to the new 2 qualifier system. Anyway, Adrian & Mr. String of Consonants (MSoC) caper about dressed like newspaper boys (is Europe going through some sort of 1930s-50s nostalgia right now? It would seem like that would be an era not all that fondly remembered especially in Europe) while Tamara does her best Elena Risteska impersonation–minus the booty shaking. Next!
  • Georgia: Camels, deserts, enigmatic looking children of all shades. If the title didn’t indicate it already, this is a song that will either: a) shame us all for being self-centered while the world goes A over T, b) string a bunch of greeting card phrases together like a fundraising campaign mailer, or c) both. It’s C here. For added guilt factor, it’s being sung by a blind woman. Diana sports glasses so big and dark that you wonder if she’s not actually blind as much as blinded. Musically, the song is actually quite good. Lyrically, it’s a piece of maudlin exploitative crap, which to be honest with you, I’m already had my fill of as 2008 is a US national election year.
  • Germany: No Angels (aka Wilde Orchidee, if that is the correct German translation) at Countdown Grand Prix. Yes, these girls are some of Germany’s biggest stars. Yes, the song is very Top 20 friendly. Yes, it’s also not bad, even quite catchy. All that said, those are some ropey vocals and some trashy dresses. I am no fashionista by any stretch of the imagination, but I know this much: sometimes the more you wear, the more hooker-like you look, and those girls look like they’ll “love you long time” for 10 euros.  It’s EuroVision, frauleins!
  • Greece: Speaking of looking trashy, New York’s own Kalomira is representing Greece. Since the Macedonians are not shaking their booty this year, the Greeks have taken over that responsibility. Kalo doesn’t so much sing this song inasmuch as exhale it through her nose. Her singing voice is just too nasal and threatening to annoy the daylights out of anyone who tries to make it through the entire 3 minutes. (FYI: I actually like the song, just not her singing style!) As for the video, it seems to be a very blatant cross/knockoff of Beyonce’s Green Light (itself a knockoff of those old Robert Palmer videos) and anyone of New Order’s videos from the late 1980s. Kalo’s certainly got the hooker wear in tow and the lyrics seems to imply that she’s going to sleep with anyone who has her “$ecret Combination,” even if she herself doesn’t know her own price or that she’s even on sale. Ponder that.
  • Hungary: Given Hungary’s status as Europe’s capitol of porn, it is a pleasant surprise that Csezy isn’t going for the streetwalker look. In fact, she’s gone all Japanese for the first part, and then–you guessed it–1930s glamour. The song (which really should be sped up, because otherwise it sounds a decade or two too late for 2008) is nothing to write home about, but the video is actually quite striking without being obvious about it. That said, what is the significance of the Doberman running?
Top 3 videos for this round, in my view:
  1. France
  2. Hungary
  3. Georgia 
There is a HUGE ocean-sized gap between #2 and #3, by the way.

And to think, I haven’t even begun to hit the controversial entries (Ireland and Spain) yet.



  1. Anonymous · March 26, 2008

    >hungary is the porn capital of europe?

  2. Hikaru · March 26, 2008

    >With the Czech Republic a close 2nd.

  3. Anonymous · March 26, 2008

    >how weird. i wonder why that is.

  4. Anonymous · April 22, 2008

    >Really shows how some people from former “West” Europe are full with sterotypes and prejudges for “East” Europe.Guess what- now it’s EasternEuropean Time :)you are just the last years’ news 🙂

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