During my last full day in hospital, the news of Harriet Wran’s arrest for murder was one of the lead stories.
The image of Wran (the daughter of a recently deceased former premier of New South Wales) being walked by police in a jumpsuit became briefly–at least in Sydney–iconic.
One of the other patients commented “she looks like us.”
Given that I had spent 3 days clad in nothing but hospital greens, I did feel a bit like a prisoner.
The jailer, in my case, being ideation.
When I started writing about this, it was partly to reach out for hope from a place of despair.
I feel more hopeful now, even though I can honestly say that being hospitalised for ideation is one of the most terrifying things I have ever experienced.
There is a lot to criticise about the public health system’s approach to suicide, but I do have to say that the nursing staff do their best with a flawed system.
I am personally grateful to the staff who did eventually find time to talk to me and understanding that one size doesn’t fit all. They gave me the first glimpses and steps towards hope that I hadn’t experienced in some time.
Still, I believe that something needs to change if we, as a country, are to really tackle suicidial ideation.
It’s not just a call to Lifeline, but it’s being willing to be open and honest with our struggles.