Another (not-so) Modest Proposal

Believe it or not, you have to pay for an ambulance here in Victoria.

That’s right, call 000 (equivalent of 911 or 999) for an ambulance and a week later you get socked with a bill usually ranging in the mid three figures if you’re not a member of Ambulance Victoria.

If you’re a member or in a private health fund, the cost is less or zero.

This morning, I read an article from the Telegraph (UK) that wealthy Muscovites are using deluxe ambulances to get around Moscow’s atrocious traffic.

Perhaps the Victorian government could employ the same idea here?

If you’ve got a stubbed toe and some ducats, why not get the deluxe ambulance service to take you to The Alfred?

Wouldn’t going for that colostomy be a bit easier to hack if you knew you had an ergonomic leather seat with pumped in Vivaldi?

And given the tendency of money launderers to be very conspicuous consumers, it certainly would be helpful to law authorities.


We are all slurs

An advisory: This particular post contains use of racial epithets and homophobic language. My hope is that this will engender some discussion, and perhaps any discomfort will be, in the long run, brief.

Words have a power all their own

Words have a power all their own (Photo credit: Lynne Hand)

I had an interesting exchange in a cab here in Melbourne some time ago. The driver told me that he was glad that I was a Black American, as opposed to a Somali immigrant, because in his mind and/or experience Somalis are “violent thugs.”

Cowardly, I did not call him on that. In fact, I didn’t think about that incident until today when I told someone that journalists and others should call out a performer for calling someone a “faggot.”

My response was that it’s a point of respect: how can you be a fan of someone who will gladly take your money but not respect who you are intrinsically?

I feel the same way about the use of the word “faggot” as I do about “nigger.”

They are slurs. Period.

I do not understand the purpose in reclaiming them. Is it a lack of creativity? Or is it a sense of saying “I’m not like those people, so please don’t be prejudiced against me?”

Living here in Australia, often times I come across social media where two Australians will refer to each other as “nigga,” under the belief that it’s a term of endearment.

The funny thing about social media is that it’s public.

On a completely emotional level, I would like to go to every house in this nation and tell them the history of this word. This word was used to dehumanise, demean, and sell people. This word was the last thing some people heard before they were lashed by whips or hung by a tree.

And some might say, well that was years ago, it has no impact on the present.


This word and its history exist as long as we continue to have racial discord in this world, and I mean racial discord between any races.

The second that you fail to see how a slur against someone else affects you, you become the next likely target.

This is also a matter of self-respect. If you don’t love yourself, then how can you expect others to love you, or even respect you?

By using these terms or even accepting these terms in the public sphere, you are allowing them to breathe.

Most likely, the reason why these words exist is because of lyrics: People want to emulate celebrities that they respect. If they feel that they get a better sense of who they are and what they want to be, then that is totally fine. The real problem comes from wanting to emulate without thinking.

Here’s a three letter word that isn’t used as much as it used to be: Why?

Why are these celebrities the way they are? What struggles have they gone through? What have they seen that perhaps you have and perhaps you haven’t?

Love the music. Love the film. Love the show, but don’t think that for one second playing verbal dressup will bring you closer to understanding your role models.

Listening will. Listening to what they have to say and why they said it will. Reading will. And here’s the tough bit: You can’t skip the listening, no matter how much you want to.

Otherwise, you’re just front.

I’m not trying to clamp down on expression, far from it. I’m just wondering at what point does personal responsiblity for that expression kick in?

Saying that you heard XYZ celeb say something and therefore by extension you can say it too, is a cop out. It places you on the level of a parrot. And the parrot has an excuse, you as a human being don’t, because you have a brain that is capable of complex thought and get a load of this:  Capable of compassion towards others both animal and human.

Compassion and listening will break down more walls than downloads and blog posts.

Where You’ll Find Me Every Saturday

I’ve been honoured to be part of The Full Catastrophe with Andy Bell on JOY94.9 for 10 shows now.

The Full Catastrophe, or TFC, airs every Saturday at 9pm here in Melbourne, 12n in the UK, 7am in New York, and 6am in Milwaukee. Alas it’s only on your radio dial if you live in Metro Melbourne, but via the free JOY app for iOS and Android, you can listen to it anywhere with no fuss nor muss.

And get this! We podcast it now, so every day can be Fully Catastrophic! You can pick up the podcasts at our lovely Podcast central on Podomatic.

And the playlists and musings can always be found on our blog: The Full Catastrophe